The real effects of your Deodorant

Deodorants, anti-perspirants, sweat-and-stink-maskers, whatever you want to call it, canned under pressure, and sprayed under the armpits and into the atmosphere, is certainly one of the worst inventions of modern living.

What goes into your Deodorant

If you think about it, all we're doing is buying a cocktail of hazardous chemical waste: methyl, propyl, butyl and ethyl parabens, aluminium chlorohydrate, aluminium zirconium tetrachlorohydrex, acid trygliceride, stearath, stearyl alcohol - and oh yes -a bit of artificial fragrance. Ever wonder whether the list of ingredients are printed so small is because they actually don't want you to take notice, or the list is so long that if the font size was any bigger it would reach Koeberg.

Be Aware of the Real Issues

Now I don't take much note about news articles that scare me one day and let me off the hook the next. Having turned somewhat jaded about health issues, what's safe and what's not, I am not about to go loading myself up with green tea because some research touts how drinking litres of the stuff makes the Japanese live 20 times longer, and then jumping off a building the next day because some scientist discovered it makes one impotent. Give me a break.

Treat Deodorants like a Ticking Time Bomb

But come on, there are certain things that are plain and simple if one only catches a wake up and instead of smelling the deodorant samples, they should really smell the coffee beans. If something has 27 ingredients, most of which ordinary people -those who are not scientists, botanists or zoologists - cannot pronounce without hesitating, then isn't it obvious, people, that we should stay clear the hell away from it? Perhaps call in the chemical waste company and ask them to dispose of it safely. Treat it like a ticking time bomb, anything but actually releasing into the air.

All in the Name of Commerce
But we do. We humans actually do. We do the dumbest of dumbass things. We work hard, to earn some money, to give it to some commercial giants, to stick junk into our mouths, and to spray ourselves with sneeze-inducing, disease-forming chemicals. Why?
Because men passing you in the street will run after you with flowers and proposals?

Good grief, are we dumb. Not because we believe the ads but that we are so desperate that we allow ourselves to be brainwashed, which in turn makes us semi-blind, so we can't see the small print, olfactorily-challenged, so that we can't smell the bullshit, and deaf, so that we don't hear them laughing all the way to the bank.

Get to the Root of Body Odour

If you are one of those who cannot do without your BO camouflage, wash! If washing doesn't work then the problem is much more profound and I would suggest a dietition or nutritionist. Failing that then scrape the bottom of the barrel and go and see your doctor. Body odour is caused by rotting flesh putrifying in the pit of your intestines, fuelled by fizzy drinks and other gut-blowing cocktails, there the gaseous delight from deep within spreads across all the cells of your body and infuses its stench, ultimately radiating outward throught the pores of your skin, freeing itself outward into the world and engulfing innocent bystanders.

By wearing deodorant you may as well write a big "I have BO" on your back. Quite frankly, I don't know which of the two evils smell worse, but the combination... hoo boy, hand me the gas mask.